hate me? then PISS OFF.

I've decided to leave her.. Tryin' to forget her , ignoring her , but... haiz.. It's hard for me to forget about her ... All the fun we had together turn into misery.. And tears were shed... I juz find out that she love someone else... I juz not meant for her....

No one cares for me in this world.. They all HATE ME!! I have given them care but myself was return with hate... Haiz.. I've decided to leave my friends and be alone... It's hard but i must!

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Today i try to ' PUJUK ' dia through sms... Today i wrote a lot of poems to her... Usually i don know how to write poem.. But somehow i can write poems for her.. it's a miracle... haiz... Still sad though.. i don know wat to say anymore but i will not give up for the sake of love... I juz wanna see her happy that's all... n0w i'm worried sick thinking about her.. Is she alright??

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Haiz... Today she sad... Her sista la... Disturb her... make her cry.. bad sista.. She nearly hit by a car but i save her... lucky seh... Then i "pujuk" her... she really sad seh... hope she's alright... I care about her.. but sumtimes i'm not confident... aiyo..!! That's all for today...

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Toaday at night i study at Mc Donald with my fren Helmi.. So fun studying there..Can concentrate better.. after that i send him home by my bike...very fun...juz wish she was here with me... Haizz... k la.. tat's all..toodles -_-

hie frenz.. If u are my frenz... Today sad seh but happy also... Today my friend scold me because i handball in soccer... what seh!! It's just a game seh.. He hurt my feelings seh.. really really hurt... but i forgive him... then after school i rush home take my oboe coz i forget to bring my oboe then after tat i got MT oral... Very seh..Hope i pass...

Then got band after that... I come with no mood seh bcoz my frenz hurt my feelings..then when combind that time i felt very happy... Bcoz i was with her... Being with her always makes me happy... k la... tat's all

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errr... Today liyana's birthday... She's so happy but i'm not... juz wanna wish her Happy birthday liyana!! Todat get scolding from senior like hell..!! They ask me to play but i cannot play.. i cannot count the beats only.. they make me feel i sux at playing oboe... I don feel playing anymore.. so sad.. so frustrated..

After sectional we celebrate liyana's birthday.... I never eat her cake... She never serve me.. So sad.. nvm la... i meant nothing to her... I always keep to myself if i'm sad ... I don want to let ppl knows that i sad..

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Today boring.. I want to go out but i don't feel like going out...So just practicing my oboe at home.. Don't want go self sectional because got no mood.. So boring seh today.. Tml her birthday..

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Today i feel like i am sick but i'm not.. Nothing much to do today.. Just practicing my oboe at home.. Practicing so hard to be good as my senior.. I nearly there to be the same as my senior..
I know i can do it.. My band is getting worst.. really need to bulk up...

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Haiz... Today boring seh.. Get grounded by my mom because i did not study.. Stress seh!! Then my handphone been confiscated by her.. Want to go out also cannot.. Can't wait for tomorrow because tomorrow i going to school.. Yeah!! Finally can get out of my house.. Hope tomorrow would not be a boring day like today.. toodles -_-'

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Today i never go out with her , because i never call her. I went out on my own. I'm always on my own. I don't know if i need someone. But sometimes i love to be alone , but sometimes i want to spend time with someone. Like the people i love. I'm getting more quiet and quiet. I no longer talk to my family members anymore. Only sometimes.

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Tomorrow there's no school , no sectional and most of all no fun. I want to practice my instrument. I forget to bring home my instrument. Now how am i going to qualify for next's year SYF competition. I'm trying to work hard to get to SYF. Hoped some day to be a oboe professional and also a guitarist too. Wish me good luck =)

Haiz...
My God brother.. He has changed.. getting more action and action... He say i action don't want to talk to him.. I everytime talk to him one but he always NEVER reply.. So angry seh.. like talking to the wall like that.. Argh!! Better talk to wallsthen talking with him.. He don't know how it's feel to be ignored especially someone who you loved.. Hoped he changed his FUCKING attitude.. Such a FREAK!!

Today is so boring.. Doing nothing at home only surfing the net plus thinking of her..
I miss her so much.. Wanna hold her hands , kiss her and see her face ... But tat's juz fantasy.. Today i ask her if tomorrow she wants to go out with me to the library.. She say see my mood.. Very the confusing.. hmm... Let's hoped she say yes.. Wish me good luck =)

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